


This is Never what I Wanted

by Miscellaneous_mess



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crying, Dead Nathalie Sancoeur, Emilie Agreste Lives, Evil Wins, F/M, Identity Reveal, Men Crying, Peacock Nathalie Sancoeur | Mayura, Protective Nathalie Sancoeur, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Nathalie Sancoeur, well she was revived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29123553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miscellaneous_mess/pseuds/Miscellaneous_mess
Summary: He wonGabriel finally has Ladybug and Cat Noir’s miraculous and now he is able to get his wish. The one he always wanted, right?
Relationships: Emilie Agreste & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Emilie Agreste/Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Comments: 14
Kudos: 33





	This is Never what I Wanted

She was ready, they had worked hard to get the miraculous, and now she was ready, she knew the miraculous would likely take her life, the man beside her knew it too. She had grown to love the Agreste family and had felt for a moment like was a part of it, but that would never be true, Gabriel Agreste still loved his wife and Adrien wouldn’t need her if Emilie was here.

They stood in front of the casket-like freezer and Nathalie trembled a bit. She always told herself that she was ready, that she would do anything for the family, and was willing to die for them, that was still true. 

“Are you ready?” The question was open-ended, almost as if she had a choice in the matter. Maybe it was just a more polite way of asking if she had any final words or what she wanted them to be. 

“I love you, sir,” she said and quickly kissed his cheek, “I would do anything for this family. I’m ready.” 

Gabriel stood still for a moment. He couldn't process what just happened, his assistant, his Nath- no she wasn't his, Nathalie had just confessed to loving him, as she was about to die for his wife. 

“Sir, you have put the miraculous on and unify their kwami’s,” Nathalie said as if he didn't know. 

Gabriel looked down at the jewels in his hand and then up at the two women before him. For Emilie, for Adrien, for my family. It was hard to put the jewelry on as he thought about Nathalie had become part of their family. The kwami’s came out with quick protest. 

“Plagg, Tikki, unify!” Gabriel quickly commanded which silenced them as he transformed. 

Nathalie had a coughing fit and fell to her knees. Gabriel had a natural instinct to run to her and check to make sure she was okay. It wouldn't matter in a minute. He watched as she caught her breath once again and looked up and smiled at him. She didn't bother to stand from the ground. He looked away from her and back at his wife, he couldn't make the wish looking at her, he couldn't bear to watch as her soul would leave her body, no.

“I wish to bring back my wife, Emilie Agreste,” Gabriel said, focusing only on her. 

He closed his eyes as light flashed on both the women before him. He heard a thud as Nathalie’s body collapsed and heard his wife step out of her confinement. 

“Gabriel?” hearing her voice again was a magical feeling in itself.   
“Emilie!” he smiled, “Plagg, Tikki, divide!”  
“You have the kwami’s of creation and destruction?” she was surprised.  
“Yes, I used the wish to bring you back to me, Emilie,” Gabriel explained.  
“You… You killed someone… Who?”  
“Nathalie, she was my assistant when you were alive before as well.”   
“How could you? How did you even get the miraculous? They wouldn't just hand them over to you!” Emilie sounded angry as her voice rose.   
“I… She agreed to help me, she said she would do anything for me, she knew what she signed up for, she used the peacock miraculous knowing exactly what it could do.”   
“You terrorized Paris with Nathalie? Why Gabriel? My time was up, you didn't have to do any of that, but no, you can't let anything go, can you?”  
“I thought you would be happy,” Gabriel admitted, “would you like to see Adrien?” 

Gabriel was not thinking about Adrien definitely wouldn't want to see him but maybe that would change if he knew why he needed the miraculous. He still hadn't quite processed that his son was Cat Noir, he couldn't think of how many times he had put his son in danger.

“How much did you love Nathalie?” she asked, not bothering to respond to Gabriel’s question.  
“She was my assistant, only that,” Gabriel answered, “I only ever loved you.”  
“The miraculous wouldn't take away someone who was ‘just your assistant’, there is a higher price to pay than that.”  
“She was Adrien’s mother figure while you were gone?” Gabriel tried. 

Emilie rolled her eyes, he certainly didn't change much while she was gone. She kneeled on the ground next to Nathalie’s now cold body.

“I’m sorry Nath, I never wanted this.” 

Adrien, while happy to see his mom again, was not happy to learn the price that was paid to get her back, and was not forgiving his father. If Gabriel had found their relationship stiff before it was absolutely cold now. 

Emilie tried to explain it all to Adrien, how Gabriel felt but that didn't do much. Adrien didn't really know how to interact with the woman he had come to live without now. Sure, she was his mom but Nathalie had become his mom over the last year and it was weird to have his birth mother back.

Gabriel and Emilie’s relationship also felt strained, of course, it couldn't be the same after the years they spent apart. Emilie still held a grudge against him for terrorizing Paris and for killing Nathalie.

Gabriel felt lost without Nathalie, he had already gone through 5 assistants this month, they couldn't replace Nathalie, they weren't as capable as her. Nathalie had picked up the tricks of the job swiftly and always knew what to do, all the assistants he had now seemed lost as to even follow a simple order. 

This was what he wanted, wasn't it? This had been his wish, he had wanted this, this was what he worked towards for the previous years of his life. 

...

Wasn't it?

Emilie’s comment of how much he loved Nathalie constantly floated around his mind. He didn't love Nathalie, he couldn't have loved Nathalie.   
Why did he feel so lost without her? He hadn't felt this way without his wife, so why now that Nathalie was gone? 

But this was what he wanted? 

This is what happened and he couldn't change it now. There was no point in trying to justify his actions, what was past was in the past. This was what he always wanted, so why wasn't he happy? 

Because this was never truly what he wanted, was it?

He looked at the butterfly miraculous that he wore for the month since he brought Emilie back. Nooroo had barely spoken to him since that day. He took his miraculous off and threw it across his office. He heard it bounce to the corner probably scattering some dust under a shelf. 

This was never what he wanted.

He knew that now but it was too late. 

“I’m sorry Nathalie,” he mumbled to the air around him, “this isn't what I wanted. I didn't think… I just, I loved you Nathalie and I wish I could've seen that.”

He let a single tear fall, usually Nathalie would have been there to comfort him, but it was his own fault that she wasn't. Even in his worst nightmare could he have imagined this. He never thought his dream would turn into the nightmarish evil that now plagued him. 

This is not what he wanted. It never would be. But what could he do now besides repeat the mantra?

“This is never what I wanted.”

**Author's Note:**

> I broke my own heart writing this but that's okay  
> I’m fine... Probably


End file.
